Believe It

In order for me to add a concept to my belief system, I have to know why I should.

Identity Crisis

We miss so much when we go through life needing the approval of others. We grow up learning to please our parents, our teachers, our friends. We learn that pleasing others gives us feedback that gives us pleasure so it becomes circular. The lines blur and we find that we have morphed into those we associate with. Soon we lose our individual identity and then feel the need to ‘discover’ ourselves. Many times the person we find is very different and that person doesn’t really have anything in common with those we had spent so much time with and previously considered to be ‘like us’. In reality we sacrificed our true selves on the alter of conformity.

Urgent Matter

When you release the urgency to have it, what you want will Magickally appear before you.

The Lighter Side of Making Mistakes

If the enlightened ones never made errors in judgment, they would never have become ‘enlightened’.

Knock Knock

When you open only familiar doors, you close the portals of possibility.

On The Rocky Road To Recovery

The only way to get to where we are planning to go is to know where we are. We have to know where we are starting from and also know where we’ve already been to determine what we liked and didn’t like about the place. We can read all the reviews from those who have been there and done that, but unless we experience it for ourselves, we will not really be able to make an informed choice.

Our definition of success is a very individual thing, but what has become universal, is the desire to be ‘happy’. That too, will look differently to each person based upon what it takes to invoke that emotion within us. That is important…to acknowledge that happiness is an emotion. It is not a thing, person, or even a destination as it has been described and depicted in those posters of mountains, beaches, and open roads traveled by expensive, fast cars with names you can’t pronounce.

To understand emotions is a major part of the goal process because our understanding of how we feel and why we feel that way will determine our actions and actions are required to set and attain our goals. Emotions can change in an instant depending upon how we interpret the experience that we are having or expect to have. There are all kinds of meters and graphs that indicate the distance between ‘bubbly’ and ‘bitch’ and how fast it takes to jump from one state to the other.

We all respond to ‘triggers’. Most of the time we think of a ‘trigger’ as something that begins a downward spiral or a step backward that will make it almost impossible for us to resist engaging in the very behavior that we are trying to change. However, a ‘trigger’ can also work to help ingrain a new behavior or pattern if we relate it to a positive result. Emotional reactions determine the effect a ‘trigger’ will have.

In  order for me to figure out what went wrong, I am looking back on what was going right. I was charged up, felt better than I ever have and was very excited about the results I was getting. People who have a tendency to self-sabotage need to examine what it is that allows them to do this. Do they feel undeserving of the happiness that reaching their goal will provide or are they afraid that even after they achieve that goal, it will not give them the gratification that they were expecting? I think this is why immediate gratification has such an edge over long term goals.

Then there is the thrill of the pursuit of a goal. Have you ever planned some major event in your life and felt totally consumed by the process? Think of a major holiday or a wedding when the preparation is so exciting and all of your energy is focused on the outcome only to feel rather deflated once the event is over. There is an underlying feeling of, ‘now what?’. If the long term goal is monumental enough, we might find ourselves wanting the wanting to continue. Desire is a powerful emotional drug. We need to consider the fact that maintaining the result is often just as all consuming as the initial achievement. Some things will require a life long commitment if we want to continue to enjoy the reward and that will require the same amount of effort if not more.

Having been successful in the past is proof positive that I can and will be successful again. Maybe I have gained enough insight to understand what went wrong by going back to what I was doing that was right and doing it wiser.  Knowing what ‘triggered’  the fall allows me to instill a counter ‘trigger’ that will help prevent a reoccurrence, but there is also the knowledge that striving for perfection is counterproductive. That kind of thinking makes no allowances for being human…and I am…I think.

 

 

 

School’s Out? Not Really, Alice

At the end of the day, many parents ask their kids, “what did you learn at school today?” We tend to forget that we’re still in school no matter how old we are or how far behind us our days of walking through hallowed walls may be. What if we started asking ourselves that at the end of each day and writing it down? The answer might amaze us. If not, let’s amp up our experiences and the attention we pay to them. Ah…much better…A+

Learn To Earn

We’ll never be compensated for what we know, but only for what we do with it. It is only then that knowledge truly becomes power.

Don’t Cast Your Shadow

We all have one. But, most often we are encouraged to suppress it, hide it, or engage in the futile attempt to eliminate it. I’m speaking of our ‘shadow self’. The often negatively  portrayed and misunderstood part of us that is regarded as sinister and evil. Actually, it is none of those things. The fluffy bunny is still romping in the forest, it just slicks down its fur.

Neutrality in Magick needs to be accepted and that is what we work with before we utilize our power of intention to direct it. When the Moon is waxing, we use the energy to attract and when it’s waning we use it to banish. But, there is also the need to go deeper and work with the aspect of ourselves that is hidden behind polite smiles and strained small talk. To degrade it to the level of psychotic tendencies is unjust and the suppression of it defies all human logic…because, after all, it is human.

We accept the fact that there are things that we just don’t like.  Cottage cheese, lima beans, clunky unfeminine shoes, and yes…Goddess preserve me,…football and its rabid fans.  All of these things are those that I simply do not like or have any interest in. I’m sure you have your list as well and every one pretty much accepts that it is perfectly fine to have a list, some longer than others, but that’s okay. It’s even rather nice when you find someone who has some of the same things on their list so you can loathe them together as kindred, lima bean hating spirits.

However, we are taught that not liking certain people is somehow, not very nice and we really should try to like everybody. Again, that is not normal or possible. My favorite Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, has confessed to meeting up with some people at retreats that just rub her the wrong way. I’m not sure what the correct way to rub a Buddhist nun is, but apparently there are some other people who don’t know either, because she freely admits to struggles with this. Being Spiritual doesn’t make a person immune to feelings of discord when we encounter those who are not compatible with us.

If someone is hostile or has an overly assertive personality and you are empathic and highly sensitive, it is common to raise your shields and want to retreat. However, it’s also common to have people like this pick up on your feelings and get satisfaction from deliberately jerking your chain and they will pursue you when you try to emotionally back away.

When we feel ourselves tense up and our eyes narrow, it’s a good indication that a long, deep growl is forthcoming. We will feel protective of our aura and sense that we are under attack. If this psychic predator keeps us in their sights, we need to stand our ground and don’t worry about being nice. We can take our cue from Nature and work with that part of us that dwells in the shadows and not feel that we have to override it or cast it aside. We don’t need to accept this any more than we would allow ourselves to be abused physically.

Don’t hesitate to do a binding. If we are mindful of our intentions and do this responsibly, there is no reason not to utilize this option to protect ourselves when we become the target for unwarranted aggression. Trust your instincts. We have been instilled with a wariness that will guide us and let us know if a binding is applicable. Trust it. The shadow knows.

I Heard, I Answered

If you are reading this, you know that I am a Witch. There never was a time, since I ‘took up the broom’, that I chose to keep it in the closet. I just felt that I couldn’t educate people from in there. Over the years, I have had to defend my path, explain it and endure the results when someone had preconceived notions as to what the Craft is and what kind of person I am for following it.

The most difficult part is the quest for validity. I dress primarily in black, and some would say, ‘look the part’ in the same way that a nun or priest does.  This is not to make a statement or stand out in a crowd, but rather to enhance what I do 24/7 and that is to immerse myself in the fathomless well that is my spiritual calling. Ah ha, here’s where it gets sticky. Trying to convince those of mainstream, conventional paths that the calling that I received is just as valid and righteous as the one that called them to theirs.

It doesn’t help that the fun part of being a Witch has a tendency to overshadow the deep spiritual aspect. Creepy and kooky, mysterious and spooky and altogether…uky? I might be mysterious and quite eccentric,  but I’ve never been ‘uky’ a day in my life. Sure, I reach into my ‘wicked sense of humor bag’ a lot when it comes to being a Witch because it helps others get comfortable with who I am, but certainly not to mock or make fun of what I feel is a sacred path. Once people find me approachable, they will discover that I am a person they might want to get to know better and may even begin to defend me to anyone who might say something negative. I consider this, progress. So, if I have to cackle at one more joke at my expense or threaten to unleash my flying Monkeys, I’m okay with it.  I know that no malice is intended when a co-worker gives me a gift of a green faced, hooked nose, Witch Beanie Baby. Compared to being snubbed, harassed, and the target of mean spirited nastiness…I can take a joke and make them too.

When I am alone in my beautiful room that I have that serves as my ‘Temple Between The Worlds”, I don’t have to explain a thing. My Patrons know me and I know Them. I didn’t summon Them or demand that They ‘work with me’, but rather, each one made Themselves known when I was ready to hear Them and accept the honor of Their presence in my life. No one will ever make me doubt the validity of the connection that I have with Them. I’ve witnessed and experienced the result every moment, and for this, I am eternally grateful. Yes, the Magick is a glorious gift and the power can be intoxicating, but my relationship with Them is truly the highest blessing that I have been given.

At times, due to the depth of the spiritual aspect of my calling, I might be accused of attempting to lure people away from their own religious beliefs and practice, especially when it comes to young people and their curiosity. Nothing could be farther from the truth because I know the difficulty of traversing this terrain with all its jagged edges. The desperate loneliness of being a ‘minority’, steeped in a brew of solitary secrecy, is no church pot luck or community picnic in the park. Being true to my path, I don’t celebrate holidays that are not congruent with my beliefs so unless I celebrate with my own Coven or attend the limited events available, I’m on my own.

As for the young who might be enticed by the Craft, I am quick to point out, they could do worse. A path that requires them to accept the responsibility for their actions, live in harmony with Nature and lead contentious lives might be an improvement over blaming parents, ‘the devil’ or both, for being inconsiderate, self-absorbed and entitled. However, they will not be coerced by me.

Can a person take their spiritual path too seriously? If so, I am justly accused. Would I accept being martyred to defend it? I certainly hope that it never comes to that. But, I am someone who cannot separate my spirituality from ‘real life’ because for me, they are one in the same and not side by side. The days of living my path one hour a week in a building designated for that purpose are long gone and far behind me. It was for that very reason that I found myself waging a constant internal battle to be good enough in the eyes of my ‘god’ and failed miserably because I was trying to empty the world’s oceans with a teaspoon. Where would I put the water without creating another ocean that needed to be emptied?

I made one last desperate cry for help that fell on deaf ears. When the echo of my own scream subsided, I heard the call that I was meant to hear…and I answered.