I want to be able to be proud of what I’ve done instead of seeing all the ways it could have been better if I had just tried harder.
Do you ever begin your commute in a great state of mind, excited about getting to your destination and even enjoying the journey? It doesn’t take long before some road hog cuts you off, rides your ass close enough to see what’s up your tail pipe and then screams their entire repertoire of obscenities at you. Yeah, sorta takes all the fun out of it. Before you know it, you’re seething and just want to get to where you’re going as long as it involves an adult beverage and a place to vent.
This happens to me many times, especially on my way home from work, and like you I am thinking, “What have I to be upset about? The day’s over and I’m going home.” Then I find myself getting angry that the situation has managed to manipulate my emotions. Well, there is a way to stay grounded and unaffected.
I love my collection of heavy metal CDs as much as any ‘on the edge of 60’ year old woman, but sometimes I feel the need to chill because all that head banging and pounding on my steering wheel to the screaming guitar riffs can make me even more outrageous. New Age music to the rescue. Pop in Kevin Wood’s ‘Kindred’, ‘Sacred’ or something by Deva Premal and it’s a lot easier to pity the fool who finds pleasure in being a jerk. Not that I don’t enjoy yelling, “Sorry about your little penis” at the guy in the pick up truck who just roared around me, but being able to be the ‘bigger person’ and just let it be is very gratifying.
A car scenting device in lavender flavor is especially soothing as is a true pine or another calming combination of herbs that you can concoct yourself and put in a little organza bag. As a Disco queen, I used to wear Tuvara, a heady exotic fragrance that seemed to linger because my troop of girlfriends used to tell me that after riding with them, their cars “smelled like me” for days. So, if a spray of your favorite designer scent gives you pleasure, spray a bit on a square of satin and keep it in your cup holder or near your vent.
Being a Witch, I have a few items that keep me spiritually grounded in my vehicle. A pentacle hanging from the rear view mirror, a few crystals that I can grab in an emotional emergency and the presence of one of my Nature Guides. Halloween always presents me with an opportunity to purchase an array of Crows and this past year, I found one that is about the size of a Robin, secured to a plastic platform that fits perfectly in the little tray area on the top of my dashboard. Although my eyes are often searching the sky for the real deal, my little companion keeps me mindful of the connection I have with my Nature Guides and that relationship always keeps me centered.
When you turn your vehicle into your own private traveling sanctuary it’s a lot easier to be in control of your mindset on the inside even though you can’t control what’s occurring on the outside. You are always the master of the inner you. We can direct our thoughts and when we can also design an environment that is conducive to feeling a sense of peace, we are more apt to be in control of how we feel.
Don’t allow others to push your dashboard buttons. Control your own climate, turn down the heat, and enjoy your own playlist. You just might arrive at your destination with a beautiful, serene smile on your face. Blessings.
Looking up at a waning Moon always inspires me to eliminate that which does not serve me. Painful emotions and defeatist attitudes can always top the list, but for me, jumping from one erroneous conclusion to the next has got to go.
Our perceptions can be so wrong, especially when we allow them to run rampant on the endless loop of accusatory thought patterns. Many times our perceptions are governed by the mood we are in and moods can be changed. When we take the time to notice how easily we can ‘snap out’ of a negative mood simply by changing our focus from a negative thought to a positive one, we will feel more in control of our responses.
Do you ever get accused of over reacting? If I was on trial for this, I’d have been handed a life sentence. So, where did it originate? My childhood? Relationships gone bad? Being a Leo? Never one to play the blame game, I always look within and try to look for ways to make a change.
When was the last time that you set out to deliberately hurt someone? I am well aware that my razor sharp whit can cut deeply even though that is not my intention, and my honest opinion can be brutally too honest, but I can’t say that I ever used either to purposefully cause someone emotional pain. Why then, am I so quick to assume that when I am offended or crushed by someone else’s word or deed, it was intentional?
We can laugh off the joke made at our expense, if we are in the appropriate mood to do so, but if we are ‘touchy’, the same joke can raise tempers and blood pressure. The benefit of the doubt needs to be given, but if we are really concerned as to if the words were meant to be mean, we can always ask. However, if they are capable of actually wanting their barbs to sink in and spin, we need to hit the delete key on that relationship.
We need to believe that we are lovable in order to allow ourselves the certainty that those who love us would not, could not, set out to hurt us. I’m going to work on that. I’m extremely grateful that I was able to defuse the accompanying anger before I took aim and confronted the person whom I had assumed deliberately attacked me. I know how hurt I would be if someone close to me thought that I was capable of doing something so mean spirited.
The movie “Love Story” popularized the line, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”. I always thought it should be, “Love means being the first to say, I’m sorry”. Even though the people who I had assumed had willfully hurt me don’t know that I thought that of them, I’m going to say I’m sorry that I did.