The Urge to Purge

Looking up at a waning Moon always inspires me to eliminate that which does not serve me. Painful emotions and defeatist attitudes can always top the list, but for me, jumping from one erroneous conclusion to the next has got to go.

Our perceptions can be so wrong, especially when we allow them  to run rampant on the endless loop of accusatory thought patterns. Many times our perceptions are governed by the mood we are in and moods can be changed. When we take the time to notice how easily we can ‘snap out’ of a negative mood simply by changing our focus from a negative thought to a positive one, we will feel more in control of our responses.

Do you ever get accused of over reacting? If I was on trial for this, I’d have been handed a life sentence. So, where did it originate? My childhood? Relationships gone bad? Being a Leo? Never one to play the blame game, I always look within and try to look for ways to make a change.

When was the last time that you set out to deliberately hurt someone? I am well aware that my razor sharp whit can cut deeply even though that is not my intention, and my honest opinion can be brutally too honest, but I can’t say that I ever used either to purposefully cause someone emotional pain. Why then, am I so quick to assume that when I am offended or crushed by someone else’s word or deed, it was intentional?

We can laugh off the joke made at our expense, if we are in the appropriate mood to do so, but if we are ‘touchy’, the same joke can raise tempers and blood pressure. The benefit of the doubt needs to be given, but if we are really concerned as to if the words were meant to be mean, we can always ask. However, if they are capable of actually wanting their barbs to sink in and spin, we need to hit the delete key on that relationship.

We need to believe that we are lovable in order to allow ourselves the certainty that those who love us would not, could not, set out to hurt us. I’m going to work on that. I’m extremely grateful that I was able to defuse the accompanying anger before I took aim and confronted the person whom I had assumed deliberately attacked me. I know how hurt I would be if someone close to me thought that I was capable of doing something so mean spirited.

The movie “Love Story” popularized the line, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”. I always thought it should be, “Love means being the first to say, I’m sorry”.  Even though the people who I had assumed had willfully hurt me don’t know that I thought that of them, I’m going to say I’m sorry that I did.


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